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There is one problem in family life that is not accepted to talk about. Many women complain that their husbands have become less manly over the years. That he is not interested in anything, that he drinks and lies on the couch. Women even forget that they chose it and loved it. For something. And for what - you can't remember. Because this "something" suddenly went somewhere... Or maybe not suddenly?
Need to tame it?
When we meet a man, when we are in the beginning of a relationship, we are very attracted to his masculine strength, masculine energy. We are proud if he rides fearlessly on a motorcycle. We are inspired by his victories in fist fights. We are delighted to tell our friends about how he goes to races in another city, to competitions, takes the first places. And even if there are no such clear displays of strength, we are proud of something else.
We like it when a man firmly states his position - you don't go there, period. There may even be a slight riot inside, but from such a blow with a fist on the table, everything calms down inside. Protected. He is strong. He is a real man.
This is what we often expect in family life - that he will take responsibility, slam his fist, make a decision himself, calm his agitated mind. We dream of a strong shoulder, forgetting that in this case we need to give up many points in our behavior.
A real man is in some sense very close to nature. He is just as indomitable, untamed, wild. And dangerous. It is dangerous to disturb such a volcano one more time, heat it up, provoke it, dust it, suppress it...
When a man gets married, his world changes dramatically. Sometimes, a wedding changes men radically. That's how it often happens. After marriage, a woman tries to make her husband domestic. For your convenience. So as not to worry about where he is and how. In order not to remain a widow. And also that he should meet and see other women less. The more tame it is, the less interesting it is to others.
Men agree to this. Because they did not see other examples - many of them were raised only by their mothers. Others grew up with the same "home" dad, deprived of his power. They don't understand the price they pay for it, and call it just a "sane" moment. And also because they love their women and want to see them happy.
But the soul remembers and knows everything. And yearns for past strength. A man is like a lion locked in a cage, he will never become a domestic cat. He can become just a humiliated and trained lion. Have you ever seen such eyes of a lion in a zoo or circus? The same thing happens in men's hearts. Hearts that are deprived of their strength.
Isn't it a coincidence that in middle age, almost every man tries to throw off this burden and get into trouble? Buy a racing car, leave your wife, do something extreme? And if it is impossible, then at least hit computer games and become a hero there.
In Europe, Ferrari-type racing cars are most often driven by grandfathers. And they also press the gas pedal with great pleasure. Remembering that they are still men. They are still strong and dangerous.
It turns out that we want to marry a superman who conquered us with exploits and courage. And it's more convenient for us to live - we emphasize the word "more convenient" - with a household ruffian who does something boring and safe, washes the dishes, the floor - and is of no interest to anyone. Even to ourselves. You have to pay for convenience with respect and your own happiness.
Male strength is needed by both
No matter how much women resist, they secretly dream of the man becoming the same again. Untamed, strong, wild, dangerous. So that when he came home, he suddenly hugged her so that it took her breath away. So that at the moment of a quarrel, when he is carrying it, he will resolutely say his "no" and again - with his fist on the table. That his eyes burned with the fire of strength and passion. The only difficulty is that you have to become someone else next to such a man. You can't tease and provoke him, add fuel to the fire when he gets angry.
Imagine that you are a chemist at work. You must know exactly what you can mix with what and what you should not mix it with. Otherwise, it threatens problems. You take each jar carefully and think about it - what will happen next? Do you have any instructions on how to deal with jars, how to store them, move them. It is exactly the same with a husband. The only problem is that we don't have this instruction. And we put experiments. One was blown up. The rest was melted down. They were crippled here. And it wouldn't matter if we remembered what actions lead to such results.
For example, there is no need to make a man angry when he is not in a good mood. Many women know about this. And who does that?
Most often, an irritated husband receives nourishment immediately from his wife's reproaches, her insults, and anger. And there is an explosion. Its strength varies depending on the man himself and how much fuel his wife has poured into the fire. But destruction and victims are always there.
Are men dangerous?
Men are really dangerous. But when women try to tame them and neutralize them, they turn themselves into a pig. To yourself. Because they don't want children from their "domestic" husband anymore. You don't want to cook or be beautiful for his sake. Rather, he evokes pity and contempt. It is also impossible to respect him.
When a man has masculine strength, it is not easy for a woman. She needs to learn how to handle her husband properly so that it is safe. She needs to worry about him more often. And learn to trust him wholeheartedly. And also understand that such a man is very attractive to other women as well. That's why you need to always be the best for him. The most beautiful, loving, gentle, unpredictable.
This is a different choice and a different life. Stop controlling him. Stop checking his phones and don't make him always come on time. Not to tell him who to talk to and what to do. Don't judge his hobbies for their dangers. Again and again to revive in him the passion for life.
Yes, let him decide to start doing triathlon. It requires a lot of strength, endurance, and time. He will need to train, buy equipment, participate in marathons. But that's nonsense compared to the way his eyes sparkle when he says it and what he does. When he runs ten kilometers or swims a kilometer and a half. This makes him stronger - not only physically, but also morally.
And finally, we want to share with you one quote from John Elridge's book "Untamed Heart":
"Yes, men are really dangerous. But the scalpel is also dangerous. It can hurt, or it can save your life. You're not trying to make it safe by blunting it; you put it in the hands of someone who knows how to handle it.
If you've ever watched horses, you know that stallions can cause a lot of trouble. They are strong, very strong, and they are on their own. Stallions usually do not like bridles and can be very aggressive - especially if mares are around. It is difficult to tame a stallion.
If you want to have a calmer animal, there is a simple solution: it must be castrated. The gelding is more docile. You can literally lead him by the nose; he will do what you tell him without showing any protest. You will have only one problem with him: the gelding is not capable of giving life. He cannot do what a stallion can do. Yes, a stallion is a dangerous animal, but if you want the life it can give you, you have to accept that it is dangerous. One does not exist without the other..."
Appreciate men's masculinity. And help them become stronger and more courageous. There is nothing wrong with the fact that he does not wash the dishes at home. Buy a dishwasher - or learn to love the process. Let him deal with men's affairs, which no one will do without him. Things that fill him with strength and energy.
