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Rules that will help you not to spoil the relationship and turn the situation to your advantage.
No matter how much you love your job and the people with whom you have to spend most of your time, there have probably been unpleasant incidents and conflicts where you wanted to hit back at the abuser to put him in his place. Such a situation is especially familiar to those who had to face protracted aggression, when colleagues literally test you with their pranks. Where to run and how to react? The basic rules that will help you turn the situation to your advantage without spoiling your relationships with those around you, informs Ukr.Media.
Keep your composure and endurance
Sometimes it is very difficult to hold back and not respond to someone who is deliberately making you angry. However, psychologists warn that as soon as you allow yourself something like this, a new stream of negativity will immediately pour out on you, which will not be so easy to deal with. In order not to provoke another wave of attacks, try to keep your composure and endurance. This does not mean that you should become a target for the aggressor, you just need to make it clear to the offender that his actions do not affect you at all. Or call a person for a frank conversation and calmly ask what exactly you did not like about him, let him express all his complaints and dissatisfaction. Usually, after such a tête-à-tête, the conflict ends and peace and tranquility reign in the team.
Do not respond to provocations
If you are faced with passive aggression, the purpose of which is usually only the expression of specific emotions, then try not to enter into a conflict, do not support the game, and do not give the person the opportunity to move from hostility to some specific actions. Just ignore the offender, reduce your communication to a minimum, then the interest in touching you will disappear by itself. If it is not possible to avoid the aggressor, then be emphatically polite and as correct as possible with him. Believe that this will happen better than public showdowns and mutual undermining. You can even take a step ahead and when the first signs of dissatisfaction appear in your address, simply express to the person that he takes everything too close to his heart and should not worry about small things. By doing so, you will stop new attacks and make it clear that you will not be silent, especially if it directly concerns you.
Respond to attacks with care and attention
One of the most effective ways to confront an aggressor is to be as polite and discreet as possible with him. Psychologists assure that as soon as you deprive a person of the pleasure of enjoying your reaction to his attacks, interest immediately disappears. After all, it makes no sense to touch those who calmly react to pranks. Be sure that your politeness and calmness will knock the aggressor off track, because he clearly expected a completely different effect and hoped for the opposite result. And you will once again be able to demonstrate that you are able to think clearly and act calmly even in a stressful situation.
Identify the offender's weak spot
Perhaps the person who shows aggression towards you also has a lot of complexes and fears about which he prefers to remain silent. If you manage to find a weak point of the abuser, you can periodically put pressure on him to let the person understand that you can stand up for yourself. It usually takes a few days of active trolling for the aggressor to admit his guilt and retire. If you got a "strong nut" who does not stop his attacks even after you demonstratively emphasized his complexes and shortcomings, then connect heavy artillery - find the chief gossiper of the office and secretly share with him any important information about the person. asking, of course, not to tell anyone. You can be sure that after a while the whole office will be discussing the embellished version of your story, even with more spicy facts. Probably the offender will not want to be the laughingstock of the general public, so he will try to quickly correct the situation, switching his attention from you to those who spread unpleasant gossip about him.
Use the same weapon
Psychologists assure that the best way to put a person in his place is to mirror HIS actions. Try to do the same as the abuser, paying special attention to his gestures, manner of speaking and behavior. At the same time, it is not necessary to stoop to frank rudeness, but only tactfully use his own methods against a person. And it is better to do it not demonstratively, but accidentally. Believe me, the aggressor will very quickly grasp the meaning of such an action and, having tested his own methods, will promptly switch to someone else.
