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There is no universal formula for strong and happy relationships yet, but science has come very close to discovering it.
Intimacy once a week
"Society of Personal and Social Psychology" for forty years conducted a survey of thirty thousand people and found out that the happiest are couples who make love once a week. It turned out that regular intimacy is a mandatory component of a happy relationship. But it also turned out that intimacy more than once a week has no effect on the level of happiness.
"Regular intimacy is a significant factor in happiness in relationships. In order to feel as happy as possible, couples need to be intimate at least once a week, but increasing the intensity of sexual relations does not lead to a higher level of happiness, says Amy Mewes, one of the leaders of the study. "Our results showed that you should have regular sex with your partner, but you don't need to be intimate every day."
Drinking alcoholic beverages together
A study published in the Journals of Gerontology B: Psychological Sciences found that couples who drink alcohol together rather than separately are happier.
This result can be explained by the fact that drinking together, like any other joint activity, allows people to spend more time with each other.
Do not attach excessive importance to material goods
Not so long ago, a study was published in the "Journal of Family and Economic Issues", the participants of which were 1310 married people.
So, the study showed that a high degree of materialism (when finances and possessions are given too much value) is characteristic of spouses who are not satisfied with their relationship.
The "Business Insider" portal also wrote that finances are one of the main causes of complex family problems that lead to divorce.
Therefore, one of the secrets of a happy relationship for a couple is as follows - try to focus not on the pursuit of material wealth, but on each other.
Get the relationship right
From the way partners begin to figure out the relationship, you can determine whether their couple has a future or not.
Psychologist John Gottman's study included 130 newlyweds who were asked to fill out questionnaires with questions. And the next quarter of an hour was devoted to the discussion of contradictions arising in their couples.
Gottman found that couples who begin to figure out their relationship in a moderate tone have a higher chance of maintaining their union in the future.
And, conversely, all 17 couples whose marriages later ended in divorce usually began their quarrels with a display of pronounced negative emotions.
Scientists also identified 4 types of negativity ("four horsemen" capable of destroying any relationship): criticism, contempt, defense and closure.
If the partners initially approach the clarification of the relationship with understanding and good intentions, this indicates that their union has every chance to continue for the rest of their lives.
Actively support each other
Active support and interest in each other's possessions is one of the best ways to make your union stronger.
In one of his studies, psychology professor Shelley Gable singled out four possible reactions to positive news that partners show: active-constructive (full of enthusiasm, support of interest), passive-constructive (quite positive, but without much interest), passive-destructive (indifferent , plus an attempt to change the topic of conversation) and active-destructive (with disdain and an attempt to belittle achievements).
An active and constructive reaction to positive news satisfies the emotional needs of partners and raises the mood. In other words, this reaction makes the relationship stronger, happier and longer lasting.
