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Society places a lot of expectations on women: beautiful, well-groomed, independent, but at the same time soft and gentle, the children are always washed, dressed, and combed, and the house is a full bowl. Comparing yourself to such an ideal mother in a vacuum can even lead to depression.
The ideal mother is engaged with her child, always well-groomed, well-dressed, and never yells at her baby, no matter how much she has to work at home.
In real life, a mother does not always find time to walk with her child, sometimes she combs her hair only in the evening, she can get irritated, cry and even get angry with her loved ones. And this is normal, because she does not have ten hands, and the child requires constant attention. Having lost her temper and yelling at her family, the woman worries and asks herself: “Why did this happen? Am I bad?”
Causes of the problem
During maternity leave, the number of responsibilities increases, while at the same time, one's strength tends to run out. Especially if there is no help or understanding from one's husband and family, and there is no possibility to hire a nanny or take the child to kindergarten.
For a long time, a woman accumulates anger, blames herself for getting tired, and not flying in the clouds with happiness. Irritation grows, and eventually the dam of emotions breaks through. And the same things that once caused aggression in her parents are angry. If a woman was scolded for dirty clothes in childhood, she will be angry for the same reason. After all, a child is a mirror, a reflection of ourselves. As a result, you imitate the actions of your parents. From generation to generation, demands are passed down: “Don’t whine!”, “Don’t run!”, “Speak more quietly.” This is important to understand, because when she becomes an adult, the baby will begin to copy you, and this negative chain must be broken.
In addition, as an adult, the child will most likely become a manipulator: he will direct his anger and dissatisfaction at others. To prevent this from happening, parents need to work on themselves first.
6 rules of the perfect mother
Admit that you cannot cope with the situation and ask for more support from relatives.
Don't demand, don't throw tantrums, but calmly discuss with your loved ones scenarios in which you will have rest and time for yourself.
Don't forget about hobbies
Memorizing "Kolobok" and lyrics from cartoons is good, but you can't narrow down your own interests, it will only increase irritation.
Take at least an hour a week to walk without your child or go shopping without rushing.
This will help shift your attention from the toys scattered on the floor to other things. Changing the environment and tasks relieves tension.
Watch your own diet and don't finish children's portions.
This will inevitably lead to weight gain. As a result, there will be another reason for irritation. Do light exercise every day, do not try to trick yourself by convincing yourself that cleaning, washing, washing dishes is already enough physical activity. Yes, all these activities cause a feeling of fatigue, but they do not train the muscles. As a result, the figure deteriorates.
Learn to negotiate with your child
Gradually, she will understand that mom should have personal time and space. It is useless to tell the baby: “Get a grip on yourself.” You can say: “I’m tired, let me rest a little, let’s talk or play a little later.” The child does not need us constantly, although, of course, it is necessary to monitor his actions all the time. But you can do this passively, without participating in the game process, for example.
Don't beat yourself up for setbacks.
If you control yourself all the time, but there are rare exceptions, the child will understand this.
