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Stress and anxiety are a part of everyone's life, including your children. Learn how to watch for signs of anxiety and how to help your children cope with the stresses that life throws at them.
Here's how to prepare children for the most common challenges in life they may face, and how to cope if their fears come true.
Coping with disappointment and tragedy
Bad things happen in life—whether it’s a parent’s illness or a national tragedy like the coronavirus pandemic. Learn how to help your children with anxiety by giving them the tools they need to manage stress. For example, if your child is in a stressful situation that’s causing them anxiety, ask them to take a few slow breaths to calm down, say, “Smell a flower or something.” Focusing on your breathing (rather than your stress) will help your child calm down and learn to navigate.
Don't panic around children.
The coronavirus pandemic has clearly increased stress levels for adults and children, but news-related anxiety can arise when something upsetting is happening in your life or in the world, from natural disasters like hurricanes and wildfires to school shootings. Parents’ emotional responses reflect their children’s thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. If parents are worried, children are worried too.
Death
Around age 7 or earlier, children often ask their parents, “What happens after death?” “When children ask about this, it’s important to encourage their curiosity and answer honestly,” says Claire Bidwell Smith, a psychotherapist and author of “Anxiety: The Missing Stage of Grief.” Smith recommends asking, “What do you think happens?” If your child asks if people or animals go to heaven, answer honestly, based on your family’s beliefs. “Children’s concerns about death can increase when they realize that their parents can’t protect them from everything,” says Abigail Marks, M.D., a clinical psychologist in San Francisco who specializes in grief. Fears and anxieties about death can also increase after the loss of a beloved pet or family member. Talk openly about their fears.
Losing at your child's sports games or other active activities
You need to understand why your child might be struggling if their team is underperforming. The key to reducing anxiety is to focus on the performance (for example, praising your child for a great game) rather than the outcome. Praise your child regardless of whether they win or lose.
Bad rating
A bad grade can seem like the end of the world to a child, especially in adolescence when the pressure of college is looming. Never scold your child, motivate them!
First love
If you can remember your nervousness and awkwardness about your first crush, you'll probably understand why your child goes crazy every time they talk to their crush. Talk about it. A first crush is a good opportunity to start a discussion about what your child likes about different people. Be your child's friend.
Staying with a nanny
While traditional separation anxiety may subside during the preschool years, your child may still be apprehensive about being home with someone other than you. Make sure your child is prepared for being with another person. For example, make his favorite dinner, buy some cool snacks, or rent a movie he can't wait to see (or a movie he's watched 25 times that he still wants to see). It's also a good idea to tell him where you're going and when you'll be back.
