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A little deceit at the beginning of a relationship is so natural for many of us. We want to charm our partner, hide some of our character flaws, to make a good impression. Over time, the need for self-promotion disappears, we become closer to each other, learn to trust and accept a person for who they are. But what to do if your partner continues to play some games, not repenting a bit for his behavior? What drives a man who wraps his woman in a sticky web of lies? Let's figure out why a man lies all the time.
Internal immaturity
Most often, this trait works when a partner lies out of the blue: he drank tea, but said he drank coffee; he went to; he bought a gift for 2 thousand hryvnias, but said he spent 3 thousand. Why does this happen? Most likely, he grew up in a family where his parents strictly controlled his daily routine, what he did, where he went, with whom. He was severely punished for every mistake. And when he grew up, he remained a little boy who was afraid of his wife's anger, and out of habit, he got away with it.
He is a natural manipulator.
Such men like to talk a lot and beautifully, but they are in no hurry to keep their promises. Undoubtedly, he will tell you how much he loves you, where he will take you this weekend… And then he will disappear from the radar, never calling you back. And this will happen again and again - he will start to confuse dates, forget about important events, postpone your meetings. Perhaps this is how nervous work affects him - the man is in constant stress, which is why he unconsciously lies. Or maybe he is a complete narcissist who is used to behaving meanly and irresponsibly. Moreover, the problem is that it is the woman who will have to adapt to him, change plans, and be in constant tone. And, of course, sooner or later she will get tired, putting an end to it.
He doesn't trust you.
Perhaps your partner feels like you are trying to manipulate him or pressure him into pity. Men can't stand jealous women who constantly control, limit, and oppress them. Such a position in a relationship affects their masculine nature and forces them to put on an "armor" with which they keep a loved one at a distance. Of course, he will secretly meet with friends you hate, continue to drink beer, or visit your mother with whom you have a strained relationship. And it's not about him, it's about you! In fact, you demonstratively do not accept his desires, or do not consider it necessary to compromise. And where there is no trust, lies come into play.
He seeks justification for his passions.
If you have the feeling that your partner is lying on purpose to provoke you into a scandal and discourage you from communicating with him, you may be thinking in the right direction. It is important to understand the reason why your husband is lying and why? Maybe he is looking for solitude, which you do not give? Avoiding intimacy, your company, any obligations? Maybe he is simply looking for an excuse to leave home and indulge in bad habits - drinking, smoking, going to nightclubs. That is why pay attention to whether your husband receives any bonuses from family conflict.
He is cheating.
This is probably a classic pattern when a partner finds another woman and starts making up stories just to get a date night on the side. By the way, many women don’t want to admit that they have a rival, so they don’t notice the lie until the very end. But there’s no escaping reality. If he’s constantly late for work, has changed his wardrobe, has started hiding his gadgets from you, refuses affection, and gets on your nerves — it’s time to bring your partner out for a frank conversation. And don’t buy into the showy remorse, because even in this case, a man is lying too. He’s not so much afraid of losing you as he is of not wanting to be left behind.
He is dependent on the opinions of others.
This behavioral disorder is characteristic of men with low self-esteem who seek to gain other people's approval in any way. What do they do? They begin to attribute to themselves fictional feats that are an exaggeration or theft of other people's merits. "So this millionaire and I studied at the same school, he cheated on my test!", "I could have become a great artist, but I chose a family...", "I devoted ten years to science! So what, that I worked as a cleaner?". Moreover, they want fantasies to become reality, so they correct reality in such a childish way.
If a man constantly lies, how to stop him from lying?
The option of “not reacting” and “forgiving” is initially useless, because in this case you risk becoming a voluntary victim. Intimidating and making a fuss is also a bad idea. The man will simply start deceiving you in more subtle ways, waiting for the moment when you relax your vigilance. The only sound advice is to work with the maturity of your partner, talk to him frankly. And also analyze negative actions, support the desire to change. Don’t be afraid to talk about how much pain his lies cause you, try to agree on new rules. On your part, there should be endless patience and encouragement of any positive changes.
In addition, you will have to work with your partner's past, teach him to be responsible for his actions, change your own behavior. Instead of constant criticism, nagging and encroaching on his space, learn to accept your man as a whole, trust him. And also remember that it is unreasonable to demand honesty from your partner when you yourself are in a pickle. You will both have to change, work not only with your partner's self-esteem, but also with your own. It is not just that you attracted a man into your life who lies to you, cheats on you, manipulates you.
But don't turn relationships into torture. Love requires work, not masochism. If you feel that your partner is taking up too much energy and has no intention of changing, leave. You deserve better.
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A little deceit at the beginning of a relationship is so natural for many of us. We want to charm our partner, hide some of our character flaws, to make a good impression. Over time, the need for self-promotion disappears, we become closer to each other, learn to trust and accept a person for who they are. But what to do if your partner continues to play some games, not repenting a bit for his behavior? What drives a man who wraps his woman in a sticky web of lies? Let's figure out why a man lies all the time.
Internal immaturity
Most often, this trait works when a partner lies out of the blue: he drank tea, but said he drank coffee; he went to; he bought a gift for 2 thousand hryvnias, but said he spent 3 thousand. Why does this happen? Most likely, he grew up in a family where his parents strictly controlled his daily routine, what he did, where he went, with whom. He was severely punished for every mistake. And when he grew up, he remained a little boy who was afraid of his wife's anger, and out of habit, he got away with it.
He is a natural manipulator.
Such men like to talk a lot and beautifully, but they are in no hurry to keep their promises. Undoubtedly, he will tell you how much he loves you, where he will take you this weekend… And then he will disappear from the radar, never calling you back. And this will happen again and again - he will start to confuse dates, forget about important events, postpone your meetings. Perhaps this is how nervous work affects him - the man is in constant stress, which is why he unconsciously lies. Or maybe he is a complete narcissist who is used to behaving meanly and irresponsibly. Moreover, the problem is that it is the woman who will have to adapt to him, change plans, and be in constant tone. And, of course, sooner or later she will get tired, putting an end to it.
He doesn't trust you.
Perhaps your partner feels like you are trying to manipulate him or pressure him into pity. Men can't stand jealous women who constantly control, limit, and oppress them. Such a position in a relationship affects their masculine nature and forces them to put on an "armor" with which they keep a loved one at a distance. Of course, he will secretly meet with friends you hate, continue to drink beer, or visit your mother with whom you have a strained relationship. And it's not about him, it's about you! In fact, you demonstratively do not accept his desires, or do not consider it necessary to compromise. And where there is no trust, lies come into play.
He seeks justification for his passions.
If you have the feeling that your partner is lying on purpose to provoke you into a scandal and discourage you from communicating with him, you may be thinking in the right direction. It is important to understand the reason why your husband is lying and why? Maybe he is looking for solitude, which you do not give? Avoiding intimacy, your company, any obligations? Maybe he is simply looking for an excuse to leave home and indulge in bad habits - drinking, smoking, going to nightclubs. That is why pay attention to whether your husband receives any bonuses from family conflict.
He is cheating.
This is probably a classic pattern when a partner finds another woman and starts making up stories just to get a date night on the side. By the way, many women don’t want to admit that they have a rival, so they don’t notice the lie until the very end. But there’s no escaping reality. If he’s constantly late for work, has changed his wardrobe, has started hiding his gadgets from you, refuses affection, and gets on your nerves — it’s time to bring your partner out for a frank conversation. And don’t buy into the showy remorse, because even in this case, a man is lying too. He’s not so much afraid of losing you as he is of not wanting to be left behind.
He is dependent on the opinions of others.
This behavioral disorder is characteristic of men with low self-esteem who seek to gain other people's approval in any way. What do they do? They begin to attribute to themselves fictional feats that are an exaggeration or theft of other people's merits. "So this millionaire and I studied at the same school, he cheated on my test!", "I could have become a great artist, but I chose a family...", "I devoted ten years to science! So what, that I worked as a cleaner?". Moreover, they want fantasies to become reality, so they correct reality in such a childish way.
If a man constantly lies, how to stop him from lying?
The option of “not reacting” and “forgiving” is initially useless, because in this case you risk becoming a voluntary victim. Intimidating and making a fuss is also a bad idea. The man will simply start deceiving you in more subtle ways, waiting for the moment when you relax your vigilance. The only sound advice is to work with the maturity of your partner, talk to him frankly. And also analyze negative actions, support the desire to change. Don’t be afraid to talk about how much pain his lies cause you, try to agree on new rules. On your part, there should be endless patience and encouragement of any positive changes.
In addition, you will have to work with your partner's past, teach him to be responsible for his actions, change your own behavior. Instead of constant criticism, nagging and encroaching on his space, learn to accept your man as a whole, trust him. And also remember that it is unreasonable to demand honesty from your partner when you yourself are in a pickle. You will both have to change, work not only with your partner's self-esteem, but also with your own. It is not just that you attracted a man into your life who lies to you, cheats on you, manipulates you.
But don't turn relationships into torture. Love requires work, not masochism. If you feel that your partner is taking up too much energy and has no intention of changing, leave. You deserve better.
