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Psychologists and sociologists talk so often about taking care of yourself that the very concept of taking care of yourself is becoming increasingly blurred. Usually, they mean something that brings us pleasure. “You’re completely exhausted at work. It’s time for you to take care of yourself. Do some yoga. Take a walk, the weather is so nice outside! Go to the beauty salon. Take a fragrant bath. Relax!”
It's important to treat yourself every now and then. When you're feeling down, sometimes you just need to force yourself to relax and have some fun. Sometimes it feels like a bitter pill you don't want to swallow, even though it's necessary for your recovery.
But are we always satisfied with just pleasant activities? In fact, the concept of self-care is much broader. And by it we should understand not at all pleasant things. This care is associated with working on yourself, with adult actions and difficult decisions, for which you may be condemned. But sooner or later you will understand that you cannot do without these decisions. So how exactly to take care of yourself?
Take care of your body
Going to the dentist is the most unpleasant thing. Is there a single person on Earth who enjoys them? Some of us visit the dentist at most once every three years. And there is no need to even talk about trips to the gynecologist, urologist, and similar pleasures.
It’s hardest to get yourself to go to the doctor when you’re depressed or worried about something. The depressed part of you doesn’t care that you might be sick. In fact, it doesn’t care about anything. When you’re anxious, it’s scary to make an appointment. What if they tell you that something is wrong with you? What if the nurse says something rude to you? What if the doctor pressures you? What if you have to go to the doctor alone for the rest of your life because you can’t find your soulmate? Yes, it sounds silly, but sometimes many of us have these thoughts.
As you get older, you gradually begin to question your invulnerability. You realize that you are bound to catch some diseases anyway.
In this sense, taking care of yourself means that you need to see a doctor in a timely manner when you feel that something is wrong with you, and also not to forget about preventive visits to the doctor. Even if you consider yourself superman and it is difficult for you to admit that sometimes you also need medical help.
Don't be afraid to refuse.
Sometimes it can be hard to say no. Especially if you are used to achieving your goals and doing everything meticulously. It is not easy to change a job that does not suit you, to give up a difficult relationship, to give a friend a dog that you do not have enough time to take care of. You have to admit that you cannot cope and that something is beyond your capabilities. And it is extremely unpleasant.
When psychologists advise setting boundaries, avoiding overexertion, and not taking on too many responsibilities, they seem to be talking about simple and obvious things. In reality, it's not fun to explain to your boss why you're taking more and more "sick" days off. It's even less fun to finally admit that you can't handle a full-time job and leave your current job.
It is important to understand that sometimes, in order to take care of yourself, you need to ignore the possible negative assessment of others and realize what you need.
Yes, you may feel weak, lazy, and irresponsible. But deep down, you will know what you are doing is right. And over time, you will only become more convinced that you have made the right choice.
Ask for help
Often, asking someone for help requires overcoming your fears and stepping out of your comfort zone. It's really not that easy. You can never predict exactly how other people will react. They have the right to say no.
And even if you have great relationships with family and friends, asking for help can still be difficult. You may worry about making your parents worry about you, or about letting your friends know that you’re depressed. Or, people close to you may think that you’re not getting enough love and attention from them, or that they’re doing something wrong. It can feel like you’re choosing between silently enduring your own pain and causing pain to others.
But this is a misconception. Your loved ones will experience much more if you hide the reasons for your experiences from them. Yes, the art of asking for help correctly needs to be learned. But if you try to do it, you will understand that everything is actually not so scary.
Work on relationships
Sometimes it's also necessary to take care of yourself. Working on your relationships means being honest and upfront with your loved ones about what you need, what you want, and what you don't want. You also need to make an effort to support your loved ones and show them your love.
Even if you are depressed and have literally no one or nothing to do, that doesn't make you the center of the universe or give you the right to behave badly.
Take care of your loved ones, because these are the people who care about you.
Don't forget about financial issues
Everything is simple and clear here. Pay your bills. Sometimes it is very difficult to start controlling finances. Especially if you can’t control yourself in other matters. Sometimes it is scary to even check the status of your bank account, because then you will condemn yourself for how much money you spent on unnecessary things or lunches in a cafe.
Find a way to track your spending. If you are sure that you have enough money for everything you need, you will feel much more confident.
If you can do all of the above, you can be proud of yourself. At some points in our lives, taking care of ourselves in such not-so-pleasant ways is especially difficult. But you can do it.
