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There are people who always radiate energy and confidence, despite what they lack: money, beauty, connections. And even skeptics are surprised to find themselves caught in the web of their charm.
Such individuals live a full life. They are the ones people turn to for help, advice, or friendly communication. Those who are not like them, left alone, ask themselves the question: what is it about them that I don't have, what makes them so attractive?
What is their secret?
In a sense of self-sufficiency that comes from within.
Charming people don’t seek constant approval because they are quite confident in themselves. They have one more thing in common: they relentlessly pursue their goals every day and achieve them. As you can see, being charming is not just luck. It’s time to learn the habits of charming people and use them to increase your personal effectiveness.
Treat everyone with respect.
Whether they are negotiating with a big client or ordering a drink from a waiter, charming people always do so with courtesy and respect. They understand that no matter how well they treat a particular person, the positive impression will be lost if they witness someone else being treated badly. Charming people treat others with respect because they believe they are no better than anyone else.
Follow the platinum rule
The golden rule—treat others as you would like to be treated—has a serious flaw: it assumes that everyone wants to be treated the same way. It ignores the fact that different people are motivated by different things. And while some people love public recognition, others can’t stand being in the spotlight.
Platinum Rule: Treat others as they would like to be treated.
Charming people are well-versed in human nature. They adjust their behavior and communication style to make others feel comfortable with them.
Avoid social chatter
There is no easier way to ruin someone’s interest than to start a conversation with meaningless chatter. When you try to approach someone and start an empty conversation, your interlocutor immediately switches his brain to autopilot and definitely does not feel any real sympathy for you. Charming people, starting a conversation, try to find something deep even in insignificant things. Their genuine interest in people helps them easily answer good questions and talk about what they consider important in different areas of life.
Focus on people more than anything else
Charming people take a genuine interest in those around them. As a result, they don't spend a lot of time thinking about themselves. They don't worry about whether they're good enough or not because they're too busy with other people. That's why their charm doesn't require much effort.
To start this habit working for you, put your smartphone aside and focus on the people around you. Pay attention to what and how they say, not how you respond. When people tell you something about themselves, ask them leading questions to show your interest.
Don't get out of your skin.
In conversation, charming people don't try to spend all their time talking about how smart and successful they are. And it's not because they don't have anything to brag about. It doesn't even occur to them because they understand how off-putting people are when they try to please everyone.
Understand the difference between fact and opinion
Charming people approach controversial and sensitive topics with caution, adhering to certain boundaries. They do not hide their opinion, but emphasize that it is an opinion, not the only true fact. This may be a discussion of global warming, politics, mandatory vaccinations or GMOs - charming interlocutors realize that many intelligent people may have a different point of view on the issue.
Be real.
Charming people are who they are. None of them have to rack their brains to come up with a plan of action and predict what to do next. They act the way they are because they understand that no one likes fakes.
People are attracted to true individuals because they can be trusted.
It's easier to push someone away until you know who they really are and how they feel.
Be honest
Honest people attract us because they follow their own path, simple and open. In theory, being honest is easy, but in practice everything is much more complicated. Demonstrating honesty every day, charming people follow their beliefs, try not to gossip and tell the truth, even the bitter ones.
Smile.
People are by nature mirrors of their interlocutors. If you want others to find you charming, smile at them throughout the conversation, and they will subconsciously start to feel positive emotions towards you.
Try to show your best side (but don't overdo it)
Charming people understand that making an effort to present themselves in a positive light is essentially the same as cleaning the house before friends come over—it’s not vanity, it’s a show of respect for others. But once they’ve demonstrated their respectability, they stop thinking about it.
Love life
Charming people are positive and caring. They are never sad because for them, life is an amazing adventure, and they happily accept people who want to be a part of it.
This doesn’t mean that charming people don’t have problems. They do have big problems, but they see them as temporary setbacks, not as inevitable evils. When something bad happens, charming people remind themselves that a bad day is just another day, and they don’t lose hope that things will get better tomorrow, next week, next month.
