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When a person has a chance, they have to make a choice: change their life or leave everything as it was. Changing jobs, meeting new people, or moving — you never know what fate will do if you take a different path. But is there only one right decision?
Clinical psychologist and PhD student Svita Brancu from Duke University in the US believes that there is no such solution. But you can assess in advance whether a decision will benefit or harm. The doctor told about five rules that will help you not to miss truly fateful chances.
Remember that there is no such thing as a perfect opportunity.
Branku compares the ideal offer to the work of abstractionists: each person will see something different in their paintings. The same goes for opportunities. For example, when talking about the ideal job, different people will talk about different conditions and responsibilities.
Think about what you mean by “the right decision” and define its clear criteria.
Let's say you're looking for a job. Ask yourself what you expect from it. Let's say your ideal job is to pick tea on a tropical island. Branco believes that if a new opportunity meets at least 60% of the criteria, it's worth considering. And if you're called to oversee the coffee harvest, it's better to accept than to expect perfect fit.
Set limits on freedom
Every new decision changes your usual way of life. And even if it's a change for the better, the new order of things can cause discomfort. For example, if you've been offered a dream promotion, keep in mind that the new position will probably require more immersion in work and you'll have less time for your family. To avoid disappointment and not cross the line, when making career decisions, Branku advises prioritizing using four points:
- distance of work from home;
- wages;
- type of work;
- employment.
Set boundaries for each of the points that you are not ready to cross — this will make it easier to make a decision. For example, you are not ready to spend more than 15 minutes on the way to work, you expect a salary of at least 10 hryvnias, you want to do something creative and not stay in the office late. Having identified your points on this list, you will stop wasting time on job offers that do not suit you and cross your boundaries of freedom.
Don't wait for the perfect opportunity - create it yourself
If you just sit around waiting for the perfect partner or dream job, you’re likely to be disappointed. Instead, try to take steps forward yourself. If you dream of becoming a writer, send a letter to a publisher first. If you want to meet a partner, start making acquaintances, rather than waiting for an image woven from fantasies to ask you out.
Listen to the signals your body gives you
Brancu believes that our bodies give us signals when we're doing something wrong. For example, if you often feel sleepy, weak, and tired, it may not be because of a busy schedule. It's likely that you just don't enjoy what you're doing.
However, if work or relationships bring satisfaction, then the body feels better. As an example, the psychologist says that before starting each new project, he feels a pleasant impatience, like a child waiting for a trip to the zoo.
Start small.
Before you rush headlong into what seems like a lifetime endeavor, spend more time learning it and start small. If you dream of winning the world championship in pastry art, you should not immediately take on huge cakes as tall as a person. Understand the technology, bake a few cupcakes and move towards a big goal in small steps. Inflated expectations at the beginning of the path will quickly lead to disappointment.
