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Some people take even mild criticism as a personal insult. Here are three words that will help you sort out the situation without ruining your relationship.
There are no perfect people in nature, so there will always be those who will criticize you with great pleasure. Avoiding criticism from employees, administration, relatives and just acquaintances is sometimes quite difficult. But you can turn other people's criticism to your advantage with the right reaction. Here's how it's done.
3 words that will disarm your critic
Say "Yes!"
It's not always pleasant to hear complaints about yourself. And our first step should be to keep our emotions in check. Recognize the other person's right to their own opinion.
If the subject has told you that he does not like something, it means that he is in the mood for a constructive dialogue. In such a behavior model, there is much more of simple human interest than in ambiguous silence or praise.
Try to take the side of your opponent and agree with him. This disarms the opponent. Why? When a person expresses a claim, he prepares to receive a rebuff. But when instead of a violent reaction or resistance he hears a simple and polite “thank you”, he plunges into a state of so-called “positive confusion”.
Having answered any reproach with "Yes!", we are then ready to find out what happened and conduct a constructive dialogue.
"But…"
Other people's claims do not always coincide with our personal view of a given situation. And here it is important to express a personal position. But this should not look like an excuse. Provide objective facts. As a result, your counterpart will see that you have a desire to understand the situation. People, contrary to our opinion of them, are ready to accept a lot and agree with a lot if the reasons are explained to them with respect. As a result, the other person will be able to look at the situation from a different perspective.
Our “but” supports us and helps us demonstrate reasonable firmness. After all, while recognizing the right of the interlocutor to express a claim, we should not allow ourselves to be overpowered.
"Let's…"
Here we have politely and attentively listened to the claim addressed to us and expressed our own position, supported by arguments. Now it is time to try to make a joint decision. To convince the person that you have common interests with him, make mutually beneficial and correct proposals.
If we respond to a claim using the logic of "Yes - but - let's...", then negative feedback works to our advantage and gives us the opportunity not only to learn something useful and correct certain aspects of our work, but also to strengthen our relationship with the interlocutor.
The right to make a mistake
It is not easy to accept claims, and it is even harder to benefit from the situation. There are people who perceive even mild criticism painfully and not entirely adequately. But the more a person is morally and intellectually developed, the more he allows for the possibility of a wide variety of opinions about his personality and his activities. He realizes that, like everyone else, he can be mistaken. Having recognized the right to make mistakes, we do not waste energy on hiding them from ourselves and others. And the less we are afraid of our mistakes, the less tension we will feel. And the more chances we will have for success. When we are open to possible criticism, we expand the spectrum of useful information and the circle of people who are its sources, and therefore, we expand the possibilities of our vector growth.
Don't be afraid of criticism and react to it as calmly as possible. Sometimes it happens that you are criticized just to get angry. Having lost self-control, you become vulnerable not only to further criticism, but also to other people's negativity. Therefore, the main rule in any communication is calmness and benevolence.
