749
0
Don't rush to the registry office and file for divorce if your husband forgets about your requests. The situation is fixable, but only if you understand the reason why he is doing this and take control of yourself.
After many years of life, or maybe even after a couple of months, a man begins to devalue the requests of his wife or girlfriend. Psychologists will tell you why this happens and how to fix it.
Why doesn't he fulfill the request?
They are not a priority for him.
It's very simple - maybe your requests don't mean anything to him. He's too busy or he's selfish - it doesn't matter. He just forgets about them because you don't attach importance to them. You asked, and he forgot, but you didn't tell him anything. He's used to the fact that he forgets about you, so now for him any of your "help, please" or "do, please" are an empty sound. He's happy that you asked, he said "okay", you forgot, he forgot, as a result you managed without him. It's very healthy and convenient.
He is very busy.
Perhaps he simply cannot fulfill your request. You ask him: “Honey, stop by the pharmacy, buy me some eye drops.” He remembers this for exactly a minute, and then he is completely absorbed in his work routine. It happens that too much employment and stress really absorb a man to such an extent that he forgets about everything in the world. If he forgets about himself, then everything is clear here, he himself needs help. But if not, then look at the first possible reason.
You can handle it yourself.
You ask him, and then you do everything yourself. People get used to this behavior. With this approach, he may even start to reproach you in response: “You can handle it yourself. I don’t know why you’re asking me about it.” In the long run, he will be understandable, because you can handle it yourself, so why do you need his help?
He is a manipulator and an egoist.
He simply does not want to comply with your requests. This is a certain type of pressure and control over a person, which makes you an obedient companion. In this case, it is important to stop following his lead.
How to make him comply with your requests
Start by pointing out the special importance of your request.
You ask him, but do not indicate the importance of your request. This is what makes the man forget about you, because “her requests are not that important.” It is necessary to say that it is very important for you that he stop by the store and buy ingredients for soup, otherwise tomorrow he will eat fast food at work. Be sure to tell him what will happen if he does not do this. If he still forgets intentionally or unintentionally, raise the stakes. Tell him that if he does not stop by the store, then for the next couple of weeks let him ask someone else to cook for him.
Please do it right now.
Don’t start with something big, like asking him to take you to his girlfriend’s house across town. Suppose he’s sitting around doing nothing. At that very moment, you need to invade his personal space and persistently ask him to do something. Start small — screw a handle to a cabinet, put in a new light bulb, move a cabinet, and so on.
You need to set a deadline.
Be sure to tell him that he needs to do something serious by a certain day and time. This also helps in cases where he is not deliberately ignoring you. Psychologists say that this way a person remembers better what exactly he needs to do.
Try to remind him
Maybe he's so busy that you have to remind him several times.
"The man said, the man did."
If he continues to break his promises, there is one good way to fix everything. Tell him that you trust him, that he is your beloved man, but a man's words have a price. Let him name it for you. Just ask him to say what he will do if he forgets to fulfill your request again. This option is much better than threats. If he ignores your request again, his reputation as a man will drop to zero, and he will definitely not allow this.
