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If you are on the same side, then this is your problem. And you will solve it together.
Otherwise, the child remains alone.
I was picking up Sanya from school today. While I was waiting, I involuntarily listened to a conversation - a girl's mother was talking to a teacher. The girl was slowly getting dressed nearby. The teacher was unhappy with the girl. She is distracted, doesn't like math, loses her grip, and jumps all the time, as much as she can, because this is a school, not a kindergarten.
Mom listened to the teacher and looked sternly at her daughter.
– Do you hear? Arina, do you hear? Come to us!
Arina was gloomily pulling on her lilac jumpsuit at this time. Then she struggled for a long time with her hat and the straps of her briefcase, and finally reluctantly came closer.
– Do you understand what we were talking about? You're behaving badly. I'll have to tell Dad everything.
The girl silently studied her boots. They were also lilac, like her overalls.
“Dad can come to school, I’ll tell him everything myself,” the teacher remarked.
“Great! Arina, do you hear? Dad will come to school tomorrow!” Mom finished triumphantly.
Arina continued to study the boots. She stood opposite her mother and teacher — alone. The two of them, on the other side. Opposite. White against red. Or vice versa.
And here's what I think. In this particular situation, I'm nobody at all. I don't know the mother, the girl, the teacher. Nor the father of the girl who was going to be driven to school tomorrow.
But I know one thing.
The moment you join forces with someone against your child, even for a moment, even for a small reason, even for a righteous reason.
At this moment, you lose her — your child.
You can't play on the opposite side. Never. Even if the child is wrong a thousand times. If you're on the same side, then it's your problem. And you'll solve it together.
Otherwise, the child remains alone.
All you need to do at this moment is to take the child's side. Even just physically. Take a step and move your outraged body to the other side. Stand next to him. Not opposite, but next to him. That's it!
We are together. Yes, Houston, we have problems. We lose our grip and we don't like math. And we jump. Houston, are you Houston or a racehorse, how far can you jump?
But we are together. And we are in lilac.
