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If you are a vulnerable person who, deep down, thinks you are better than everyone else, your life is unlikely to be easy. You feel frustrated when your efforts go unnoticed and jealous of those who, in your opinion, achieve everything easily.
You are convinced that great achievements await you, but the resources you possess are meager compared to your grandiose fantasies, as a result of which you are gnawed by resentment towards fate. Of course, such a view of the world does more harm than good, depleting energy and leading to loneliness. However, everything can be changed!
Start with five steps.
Think about how you became who you are now.
If you are a vulnerable narcissist, you are not the type you are. Your parents may have had an overly caring or overbearing parenting style. If they were narcissistic themselves, you may have adopted their values and views on how the world works.
If you grew up in a family where love and attention had to be earned, it's no wonder that you continue to live with an eye on others as an adult. You doubt your own worth until you receive the approval of those around you.
Recognize that habitual patterns of thinking and behavior are useless
Ask yourself, do your beliefs help you be happy and enjoy life? If not, it’s time to change them. Such changes are not easy, especially when you have to challenge the assumptions you have held since early childhood. Letting go of what no longer serves you is difficult, but necessary.
Take responsibility
Do you blame other people or circumstances for what's happening in your life? You didn't get a promotion because your boss brought his friend? Your last romance ended because some villain stole your boyfriend? Your life is no good because you had an unhappy childhood and it's all your parents' fault?
Everyone goes through tough times, and not everyone is blessed with nurturing, loving, and caring parents. But don't use your "bad luck" as an excuse for not reaching your potential. If you want to move forward, you need to accept that you are the master of your life, not someone else's.
Think positively about those around you.
When you meet someone, do you immediately look for their flaws? Do you see other people as a threat? Do you collect negative information about the person you are talking to and then use it against them?
When you feel vulnerable, other people seem threatening to you. Instead of seeing them as potential friends and allies, you view those around you as enemies and competitors.
The next time you meet someone new, find something you like about them. If that's hard, ask yourself, "What would someone else like about this person?"
Be kind but firm.
Narcissistic people, acutely aware of their vulnerability, are prone to anxiety and depression. Think of the vulnerable parts of your own “I” as your inner child. What would you say to a child who is constantly trying to impress, seeking approval, and therefore behaving in the most inappropriate ways? You need to show kindness half as much as severity. By raising your “inner child,” you learn to cope with difficulties that have affected you in the past.
