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The principle of “let it be, as it will be” does not work if you and your partner are trying to create a truly strong union. Some mistakenly believe that compromise is a sign of weakness, a concession. But in reality, with a mutual agreement to give in, to sacrifice something, both partners must do so, not just one. However, there are situations where reaching a compromise is not a solution, but the beginning of the end:
When they try to humiliate you
If your partner regularly tries to hurt you, says that you are worthless, your hobby is boring, and your job is unpromising, it is worth thinking about your relationship. You should not agree to a “compromise” in which you quit your job or hobby just because your partner wants it. Do not forget that a man, no matter how much money he promises, can leave at any moment, so you risk being left without a source of income and a roof over your head.
When your views on the future don't match
For example, you want children, but your husband doesn’t, or vice versa. And you agree to compromises: “let’s do it in a year”, “I’ll get a promotion and we’ll have a child”, “one more project, and then we’ll have a baby”. Such agreements will not lead to anything good, because you can’t force someone to want a child, so in a year or after a promotion, your partner will come up with a new reason to postpone pregnancy. The same goes for marriage. You shouldn’t stay with a person who is categorically against legalizing the relationship – it’s unlikely to work out. But by leaving such a man, you won’t waste your time and will be able to find someone with similar views on life.
When they decide for you who to communicate with
If a man says that you don’t need girlfriends and allows you to see them on the condition that he is present, this is not a compromise, but a restriction. Or, for example, you have male friends, but your partner is aggressive towards them and is jealous for no reason, and therefore forbids you from communicating with them. It can also happen that even contacts with family can irritate your loved one. All of the above is an invasion of personal space, the first signs of violence in a relationship. You should not make any agreements regarding loved ones - only you decide when and with whom you want to communicate.
The rules are set just for you.
For example, you can’t meet your girlfriends on weekends, go to clubs, or dress “in a daring way.” But at the same time, your partner is absolutely free to go to bars with friends to watch football, go fishing, or chat with other girls. Such a “one-sided game” will not lead to anything good. There is no compromise here, only unnecessary sacrifice on the part of the girl. It is necessary to establish personal boundaries “on the shore,” and if this fails, end the relationship.
