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Very simple - biologically, people are tuned to connect with their own kind. It's a matter of safety. The survival of primitive man depended on his ability to stay together with a group of strong and healthy relatives. Life experience has formulated a rule: be near the successful and you will remain safe. If you miss, keep quiet. If you notice that you have hurt others, intentionally or not, try not to mention it. Bite your tongue if you do not want to be kicked out of the team for your mistakes. Admitting mistakes makes you vulnerable. Demonstrating vulnerability jeopardizes survival.
Now our task is completely different: we must "reprogram" the psyche to see mistakes as a useful lesson and advantage, not a threat.
Try the following exercise
- Think of all the times a friend or loved one has admitted a mistake to you.
- Write down next to each event what you felt, just be as specific as possible.
- Now make a list of situations where your partner was wrong but didn't admit their mistake. Describe your emotions about it.
You will see an interesting pattern: when a loved one admits a mistake, you are ready to embrace them and feel an even greater connection.
We make mistakes simply because we are human. Allowing yourself to admit your confusion and risking showing it to others opens up a lot of doors for you. Being honest helps you see what you have in common with other people. Not to mention, worrying about your mistakes takes up a lot of energy that you could be using more effectively!
We all make mistakes. Try to accept this truth instead of turning a blind eye to it.
