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We, parents, often forget that a teenager is still a child. Even though they have grown physically and morally, they still need us, our approval and acceptance.
To keep your child from moving away and trusting you with their problems, rather than some strange uncles and aunts, it is important to follow the basic rules. There are not many of them, but each one is extremely important.
We'll talk about the mistakes that many moms and dads make:
Unwillingness to communicate
No matter how busy you are, spend at least half an hour a day with your teenage child. Find out how things are going at school or college, how are your relationships with friends or significant others, whether something is bothering you. Just be genuinely interested in your child. Let them grow up and solve their own problems, your attention is very important to them.
Inability to listen
Don't just listen to your teenage child, but be able to hear. What is really bothering them? Can you help them? Mom and dad's sincere attention and care can be especially important for a child during adolescence, when hormonal changes occur. Remember yourself in those years! You probably reduced any small problem to the level of a disaster because of your little life experience. Just talk to your child and listen to them.
Unwillingness to look deeper
Is your child always in a bad mood? Don't write it off as teenage whims. Maybe she lacks your attention and sincere conversation, something is bothering her. However, a depressed state may indicate more serious problems, which a psychotherapist can help you deal with. Don't close your eyes to "childish" problems, but on the contrary, open them wide, especially during this ambiguous period.
Lack of empathy
No matter what your child does (anything happens!), you are their support and support. Don't judge, don't yell, don't scold. It's already happened, and now your task is to solve the problem together. Without unnecessary complaints.
Devaluing problems
Think back to your teenage years. You probably felt that any small thing by adult standards was a global problem, right? Your child does too. The smallest quarrel with friends or a significant other, failure in school or sports, misunderstandings with adults — all of this is perceived very sharply by teenagers. Next time, refrain from commenting that it is a small thing. It is better to tell your child that you completely understand them and their pain. Do not belittle their problem, it is very painful and traumatic.
