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A strong relationship is not just about love and passionate emotions. It's also about shared values, mutual respect, and a willingness to move in the same direction. But sometimes partners' perspectives on life are so different that they become the main obstacle to harmony.
What beliefs and attitudes prevent people from building stable relationships, life coach and sexologist Vitaly Kursik told RBC-Ukraine (Styler project).
1. “I am always right”
If one of the partners does not admit the possibility of their mistake, it will destroy any dialogue. In a relationship, it is important to be able to listen, admit your weaknesses, and seek compromises.
2. “Love endures all things”
It's a romantic but dangerous illusion. Love is important, but without relationship work, respect, and support, even the strongest feelings can fade.
“The phrase that “love must endure all trials” is often used by manipulators when they want to use it to cover up their bad deeds, betrayal, and lies,” the coach emphasizes.
3. “You have to change me”
Expecting your partner to fix your habits, solve your problems, or make you happy is a path to nowhere. Change is only possible when the person themselves wants it.
4. “Money is only your task”
Financial issues are a common cause of conflict. If one partner believes that financial responsibility lies solely with the other, it creates inequality and tension.
5. “I am more important than everyone else”
If your partner believes that all your resources (time, emotions, attention) should belong only to him, this is a signal of a toxic relationship. A person has the right to their own life outside of the couple.
"Once upon a time, marriages in which the head of the family was the law, the king, and more important than everyone else were quite common. From a psychological point of view, such an approach is a sign of selfishness and egocentrism," the specialist added.
6. “I am who I am, and I don’t need to change”
Refusal to work on yourself is a signal that your partner is not ready to develop. In a relationship, it is important to be flexible and able to adapt to each other.
7. “Family is a commitment, not a joy”
If one partner perceives the relationship only as a burden or obligation, there will be no harmony. The family should bring joy, be a place where both receive support and inspiration.
8. “A man/woman should…”
Relationships based on stereotypes quickly deteriorate. If expectations are based on ideas about the “correct” behavior of a partner, instead of accepting them for who they really are, then this becomes a cause of constant conflict.
“There are no ‘female’ or ‘male’ responsibilities, there is only how you agree to divide the responsibilities. And the happiest couples are the ones who do everything together,” says the expert.
9. “Only I know how to do it right”
Partners with dogmatic views on life often ignore the needs of the other. If one of you refuses to accept an alternative point of view, it creates a communication gap.
10. “If something doesn’t work, you just have to endure it”
Patience is not about solving problems. Relationships require action: communication, conflict resolution, and sometimes a willingness to admit that it's time to part ways.
“You can build a strong relationship only when both partners are ready to work on themselves, be open to new things, and appreciate each other without illusions and prejudices,” summarizes Vitaliy Kursik.
