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No one is immune from bad relationships. Many of you, having fallen in love, realized sooner or later that you contacted the wrong person. This happens! But what if you find yourself stuck in an unhappy union with the same scenario time and time again? As you continue to attract pimps, alcoholics, and mentally unstable partners into your life, it's hard to believe that things can be different. To understand how to stop getting into a similar situation, you need to understand the reasons why it happens to you.
Why do you always find yourself in a bad relationship and how to deal with it?
Often the reasons are hidden at a subconscious level, and they will have to be brought out into the world of God in order to work them out.
Look at your parents
No matter how sad it sounds, no one has yet canceled the example of their parents. What was their marriage like? Does your other half have negative traits of your father or mother? Have you ever had a reliable person by your side? Are you insulted? Does your relationship look like chaos? Were you entrusted with adult responsibilities as a child? Just answer these questions and think about how the history of the family in which you grew up influenced your choice of partners in adult life. You may not realize that you are following a negative example, considering this or that behavior to be normal, even though subconsciously it is making you unhappy.
Analyze your past relationships
Write down all the relationships you've ever been in on a piece of paper. Even if they were fleeting affairs or those in which your feelings remained unrequited. Make a list of the personality traits of all the exes you've dated. Remember how and why the relationship with each of them ended. See anything similar between them? What does the comparative analysis tell you?
Think about what your role was in the relationship?
Perhaps you felt insecure or, on the contrary, overly concerned about your partner? Are you used to dramatizing everything and life resembled constant chaos? Were you a victim in a relationship? Or maybe you subconsciously avoided the "right" partners and refused to meet them? Understand, there is a high probability that you yourself are to blame for the kind of relationship you found yourself in. Think about what you expect each time from a union with your significant other? If you still believe in the ideal partner, you will inevitably be disappointed again. It is also a mistake to blame your exes for everything, not noticing the fault behind yourself. It's useless to wait for something to change until you change yourself. It is important to understand how to behave correctly the next time, so that the scenario does not repeat itself.
So how do you attract the right person into your life?
Change your approach to dating
Treat a new acquaintance simply as a new acquaintance. If there is a spark between you, great, but don't get your hopes up and don't build illusions about the person you just met. Slow down and think about what's important: do you have common values, life goals, is there anything that alarms you in the behavior of a potential soul mate? Don't be in a hurry to dive headlong into the novel. If you are destined to be together, the new acquaintance will not go anywhere and will not reproach you for delaying.
Believe that you deserve to be loved and treated well
We tend to believe what we have convinced ourselves, but it is a slippery slope. If you believe that you are not worthy of being loved, you will automatically see evidence of your rightness in everything, blocking out positive information and giving way to negativity. Start thinking positively, review your attitude towards yourself and don't ignore your needs. You deserve only the best! And when you believe in this, you will see how life will slowly begin to change.
Focus on what you can change
This applies to everything except the person next to you and the past that cannot be returned. But you can learn valuable lessons from failed relationships and grow from your mistakes so you don't repeat them in the future. Change the script of life by inscribing in it reliable, responsible, emotionally happy partners who can be trusted. Remember that life does not end without them.
Moreover, it can and should be full and interesting. Scientists force us to believe that we tend to repeat the same mistakes. This is a psychological problem that needs to be solved once and for all. It is wrong to use the same method if it did not work the first time. Look for new ways and solutions, otherwise your brain will follow a well-trodden path and lead you to where you are trying to go. It's easier to go along, but then you don't have to wonder why you're in the wrong relationship. Develop a strategy that will lead you down the right path, no matter how difficult and uncomfortable it may be.
