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If you also have people in your environment who are able to start a conflict out of nowhere and react inappropriately to any little thing (up to announcing a boycott or inventing a sophisticated revenge), then you probably know how difficult it is to establish communication again. How to properly deal with offensive persons so as not to have problems (and enemies) - we will tell you further.
"Forget me and my name"...
If you are exhausted, trying to understand why a person from your environment suddenly stopped greeting you and started to make a sour face, you barely get into their field of vision, then most likely you got "under the hot hand", regardless of whether did you really hurt that individual's feelings or not. Psychologists assure that most often such offensive persons are driven by one desire — to get their own at any cost, so they cannot think of anything better than to pretend to be offended and start manipulating others. In some cases, this behavior works, and the already "offended" person begins to be offered all kinds of bonuses, just to return his positive attitude. And that is all that is needed. They got what they wanted, or more.
It is another matter if their expectations were not met. Then all techniques will be used - from pressure on pity to blackmail. If you give in to provocations and, at least once, do as they want, then you will have to fulfill all their whims. And then the usual "Sorry!" will not help, otherwise you will be declared almost enemy #1 and will tell everyone what a bad person you are. Is it still possible to survive if it is a stranger, and if it is your close friends, parents or partner? Here, it will not be possible to brush it off so easily and you will have to find a compromise and agree to the person's demands. How to properly build communication so as not to gain new enemies?
Make it clear right away that you can't be treated like that
Stop feeling guilty and change your attitude about the situation. And remind yourself more often that you did not want to intentionally hurt the person. And if the individual decided otherwise and now demands some kind of compensation from you, then this is his problem, not yours. Learn to refuse people (not to say rude things and not to play with them the game "if you are offended by me, then I am too"), and then you will have nothing to reproach yourself for and think about "what should I do to not accidentally touch someone's dignity." Try to do as your conscience tells you, and then there will be fewer and fewer such cases.
Mark your boundaries
Make it clear to the "offended" person that you will not beg for forgiveness, but only apologize and try not to repeat the situation. And mark the boundaries that you are not going to cross in order to please the person. Psychologists warn that if you build communication in such a way that you are really sorry, but you will not transgress through yourself, then prepare for the fact that you will be used for any reason, constantly reminding you of your guilt and the need to make up for it before time until you are forgiven (and it may not happen so quickly).
Discuss what exactly offended the person
To exclude a similar reaction in the future, invite the person to a frank conversation and ask them to explain what exactly affected them so much. After all, maybe you didn't mean anything bad, but someone took it personally and took offense not as a joke. In addition, it will be easier for you to adjust your behavior or completely limit communication with this individual (as much as possible). But discuss exactly his attitude to the situation, not your mistakes, and in no case do not reprimand or blame, so as not to aggravate the situation even more.
Suggest ways out of the situation
After you give the person an opportunity to express themselves and understand what exactly affected them, offer to find ways to solve the problem together so that similar problems do not arise in the future. This way, you will show what you are ready to do now to eliminate the possibility of something like this happening again in the future. But this is if you need to maintain a relationship with this person (and there is no way to completely exclude him from your life).
Be persistent
Do not expect that the person will listen to you and immediately change his behavior. On the contrary, get ready for irritation and habitual manipulation, with the help of which they will try to force you to do something by way of apology. Try to show character and do not go to an open conflict, it is better to be polite, but clearly explain your position and repeat that you can apologize again, but you definitely will not do something to "make amends". Never make excuses, otherwise the "offended" person will feel a weak point and increase their pressure. Psychologists reassure that usually a few such incidents (and persistence) are enough to show a person that you can't be treated like that. Next, the usual "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you" will be enough to show that you are really sorry, and you will try not to do this in the future.
Do not feel guilty in any case
As soon as you show your weakness and accept that you are the main source of all the troubles that have happened to a person, then consider that he has achieved what he wanted, and now you are completely under his control. Get ready for the fact that you will be forced to atone for the guilt in all possible ways and fulfill the whims of the "offended" person. If you do not feel guilty, then explain it to the person, emphasizing that you will not compromise your principles in order to please them.
Limit communication
If you are constantly offended by friends or acquaintances, then think about how much you need such communication? Do you really want to maintain a relationship with people who constantly manipulate you and seek profit from their images. According to psychologists, the best thing you can do in such a situation is to gradually stop communicating with such people (not to cut the fire, but to gradually separate from them). In this way, you will preserve your psychological health and get rid of these toxic persons who poison your life with such behavior.
