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Ask any person what they fear the most, and loneliness will surely come up on the list. Try to be alone. Move to the side of the support and shadow, look into your eyes and learn not to look away. And believe me: soon you will have to find moments to be alone with yourself.
Fear of loneliness
This is especially true for women: if they are not married or in any relationship, they are immediately recognized as losers. That is why not everyone dares to divorce, even if the marriage is unhappy or toxic. "How am I alone?" — this is the most frequent phrase that can be heard in this case, and it is not always about possible financial problems. The fear of not having money is much weaker than the fear of not having a partner around.
Historical roots
Loneliness in our society is perceived as something terrible, as something that must be avoided by all means. Undoubtedly, the roots of this attitude are historical. No sooner had the ancient man climbed down from the tree than it turned out that he is vulnerable to hundreds of predators that are stronger than him - and it is easier to survive with someone than alone.
When people learned to cultivate the land and that patriarchal village structure was formed, the features of which are present in our life today — loneliness meant the impossibility of earning a living. Plowing and sowing is easier all together. In order to survive, you need to belong to some kind of community, clan, family, especially if you are a woman.
Centuries have passed, everything has changed beyond recognition, and the formula "loneliness is death" seems to be firmly stuck in the human brain at the level of consciousness and subconsciousness.
Fear of self
But in addition to this reptilian, almost reflexive fear, there is another reason why we are so afraid of loneliness. And it consists in the fact that we are simply unable to meet ourselves. The Indian religious mystic Osho said: "Loneliness is a state when you are sick of yourself, tired of yourself, bored of yourself, and therefore you want to forget yourself in someone else." And we forget - surrounding ourselves with God knows who, if only "something lives". Partners with whom we feel bad, friends with whom we are not interested, colleagues about whom we know more than about ourselves, children whose lives we live - all these are shadows that hide us from ourselves. Those who stand between us and the mirror we are so afraid to look into. Fear of loneliness is fear of oneself.
Vitality
Should something be done about it? Absolutely — because in the end, all we have is ourselves. Raising children, creativity, kindness, love is impossible if you do not feed them with the strength of your own soul. And the soul cannot be in desolation. Ask yourself: What are you afraid of being alone? What kind of ghosts live inside you, suggesting that your own interests and joys can be pushed into the far corner, and that life without people who, to put it mildly, do not embellish it and do not make it easier, will turn out to be empty and useless? Such thoughts cause severe pain, making you fear yourself, evaluate your own personality as weak. In fact, this pain is a sign of a huge life force that flows into an unnecessary relationship like a black hole
A meeting with yourself
In each of us there is a sea of energy, which, if you give it free will, will blaze to the heavens. But most often, people spend all this fire on keeping themselves in a minimally warm state, on unnecessary and painful relationships, on fear. Such scenarios always come from the family, from childhood, from difficult experiences that we have gone through. In order to change these scenarios, to untie all the knots that hold us back on the way to a state of not ostentatious, but real happiness, you need to meet yourself, show interest in yourself, and learn to spend time alone with yourself. It is often impossible to do without the help of a specialist, but turning to him is the first step on the way to stop being afraid of yourself, and therefore of loneliness.
Alone with myself
Being alone and being happy at the same time is possible. After all, happiness is a state of inner fulfillment. When a person is filled to the brim with interest in the world inside himself, when he is interested in himself, he begins to communicate with others not from a deficiency, but from an excess. She has something to give, something to share, without losing a drop of her own integrity. Being alone is not a flaw, not a danger, not a terrible breakdown that should be immediately repaired with the first materials that come to hand. Being alone is the way to happiness, a way of self-discovery and self-healing. This is the achievement of inner balance, which is necessary for each of us. And when you manage to come to this balance, loneliness itself ceases to be possible. A person becomes a point of attraction, attraction for new people and events, phenomena and achievements.
