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Around each of us there is a person who is constantly looking for someone's free ears to tell how bad things are for him. Even if this person is dear to you, psychologists advise you to run away from him.
Troubles happen to everyone and it is quite normal when a person wants to share them with someone. But it is not at all normal when she whines constantly: the boss is a pig, the weather is terrible, the price of bread has risen, there is no money for a vacation.
First of all, we sincerely sympathize. Then it starts to get annoying. However, we listen to the stream of complaints without interrupting, so as not to look like soulless egoists. In the end, we ourselves suffer from it.
How other people's whining affects us
Do you remember how tired you felt after such "cute" conversations? The whiner wants to evoke sympathy, so that others share his mood - then he will feel better. This is basic vampirism, which takes away your energy.
But that's not all. The human brain is configured in such a way, explains psychologist Helen Weintz, that it subconsciously imitates the mood of others. At least those we care about or spend a lot of time with. This is the basis of empathy, which in psychology is called neural mirroring. That is, if you are characterized by a feeling of pity, whether you like it or not, you will worry about other people's problems and experience them as your own, you will become nervous and irritable. Think: do you really need it?
It's even worse if you start to feel uncomfortable about the fact that you have a better situation, that you are more successful. Or because you can't help. There will be no time or resources for someone else's life.
How to protect yourself from threads?
Even if they take offense at you and do not welcome you, break this circle. Try to avoid communication with a person who constantly pours out his problems on you.
If this is not possible for some reason, ignore. Show indifference. The interlocutor will not be interested in you, and he will stop drawing emotions and energy from you.
If even after that he keeps up, give him a blow in return: stop sympathizing - start complaining too. Does he have high blood pressure? And yours is even higher. Did his washing machine break down and need to shell out for repairs? And your coffee machine broke down, the curtains and the whistle in the wheel were torn.
At the end of the day, don't hesitate to say honestly that you're tired of hearing complaints. After that, they will definitely find a replacement for you.
