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Do you think all women know in advance how relationships work? Unfortunately, this is a stereotype based on the simple fact that for a long time the role of keepers of the family hearth was imposed on the weaker sex. From childhood, girls were fed false statements, role-plays were hammered into their heads, after which they began to believe in their special status. But what if we debunk a few myths that only get in the way of building healthy relationships with men? So, 8 statements about men that women mistakenly continue to believe.
If you want a man, take the first step
It would seem that the quote is in the spirit of modern times, when everyone creates their own happiness. The trick is that, showing persistence and activity first, a woman with 100% probability will come across a passive lazy person and a consumer who will not lift a finger for her sake. After all, she can handle everything herself - she takes care of him, surprises him, decides everything. Such guys quickly relax and do not overburden themselves with appropriate care. The woman got to them too easily, so she does not represent any value. Do you want to get a reliable and responsible guy? Then leave the role of leader and conqueror to the man.
Scandals in the family are taboo
Yes, the stronger sex does not like scandals, whims or a bad mood of its partner. But you cannot build family happiness if you are constantly silent and ignore internal discomfort. By keeping silent about problems, not voicing our thoughts and desires to our husband, we will kill our marriage much faster. Resentment does not disappear anywhere, the tension grows and demands a way out. It is a high-quality quarrel, in which lovers can express themselves and hear each other, share fears and come to compromises, that strengthens closeness.
Intimacy is the best way to bind a partner
Yes, without it, relationships with men lose their appeal, become too "spiritual" and "illusory".
The problem is that women again draw conclusions based only on their own opinion. They give themselves to a man when he means something to them, when they join him physically and emotionally. But the stronger sex is not so romantic and may well "eat from another plate". That's why you can't keep a man in one bed, you need something more - charisma, intelligence, common interests, mental and everyday comfort. Intimacy is a good start, but if it's the only thing a woman has to offer, it won't last long.
Acquaintance with his parents is a good sign
But no. Sometimes this gesture doesn't mean anything at all, it's just the way it is done in his family: he shows all his mistresses to his mother so that she can give her professional assessment and recommendations. Or his parents are favorable to any of the new passions. So don't be in a hurry to rub your hands in joy, it's better to find out how many women he brought to you.
He lied and cheated with someone else, everything will be different with you
The hormones of falling in love make it difficult to evaluate relationships with men realistically, and it would be worthwhile to hold your horses at least a little. People rarely change, a pathological liar, old woman or tyrant can only be corrected by the grave. So don't overly romanticize the situation. No matter how caring, loving and incredible woman you are, you cannot change a person's character and habits, his worldview, self-esteem, all this can be done only by himself. So be careful if a person has had three marriages before you that broke up because of his fault. Remember, you are next in line.
After the wedding, he will definitely change
A drinking man will stop drinking, an aggressive man will stop raising his hand, and a lazy person will suddenly get up from the couch and build a huge corporation. This is a great fairy tale to lull your vigilance, to justify today's partner's failure or to deceive your expectations. But miracles happen quite rarely. If a person wants to, he does it, if he doesn't want to, he looks for an excuse. So getting married won't change anything, you'll be disappointed once again and start feeding yourself with breakfast: "Let's have a baby, take out a mortgage, change jobs - and then...". Lie.
Don't want to get married? Pregnancy will inspire him
Where will the man who is pinned against the wall with a positive pregnancy test go? Consciousness whispers that a child will strengthen the marriage, make the husband more responsible, determined and tied to the home.
But it doesn't always work. You can raise a child in a guest marriage without any stamps or obligations. You can pay alimony and be a Sunday dad. And you can generally wave to your partner and go somewhere. Especially if the man had doubts about the relationship, was not ready for marriage or already had a family at the same time. So this method is not a panacea. Decided to give birth - think again, will you pull such a "gift" alone?
A man can always be reeducated
A little patience, positive examples, quality instructions - and the man will lend himself to polishing. You will make an alpha male out of a coward, you will make a business shark out of a loser. True, this is possible only in theory, in real life relationships with men are not like a pink pony. Thousands of women have failed before you. And all because it is impossible to grow a rose from a stone, to train a cat to be a horse, to instill in a person qualities that he never had. If a man loves, he can partially change his habits. But his character will not change significantly, so blackmail and criticism will not help.
How to act? Look for positive traits and build on them. If, of course, you love the man himself, and not fantasies at his expense.