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A classic of American horror films: the heroine meets a new friend who begins to dress, talk and act like her. In the end, it is clear that the impersonator's goal is to kill the heroine and steal her ideal life.
The plot is not so far from reality. In life, girls often face the fact that close friends borrow their style or manners. Coming to school in identical T-shirts is funny only in adolescence. Over time, most of us want to emphasize our individuality. If you feel that you have become the object not only of imitation, but of exact copying, it's time to act. We will tell you how to save your uniqueness and not lose your friendship.
Be honest with yourself: do you copy her too?
When two people spend a lot of time together, they unconsciously begin to have common interests, expressions and even tastes. There are even special “mirror neurons” in our brains responsible for imitation, so nature itself has taught us to learn from each other.
Before you accuse your friend of copying, pay attention to your own behavior: maybe you do something like her, or your tastes are really very similar.
Consider whether you can ignore it
If a friend got the same tattoo or bought a dress that you recently told her about, it's not very nice, but it's not a reason to stop talking.
Try to find the reasons for this behavior: maybe she really likes you or is looking for her own style. Creating your own individuality requires effort. This is why most people are easier to imitate. Usually, more media personalities are chosen for inspiration, but in your case, you became her idol, which is already a compliment.
Psychologist Dr. Peggy Drexler advises assessing whether you are ready to lose friendships due to imitation aversion:
“If you have a friend who likes the way you look and she's less capable or less confident in her abilities, it's worth considering whether you can just live with that. Weigh how much it bothers you to copy her against all the good things she and her friendship bring you.”
In the age of social media, which many use to build their brand, the problem of copying can be complicated. When a friend posts photos with the same style as you, or steals the hashtags you've worked so hard to create, it's only natural to react negatively.
Try to stop her
It is better to do it carefully, without quarrels and tantrums. If it is about purchasing something, try not to tell where you bought this or that thing.
Pay attention to the details of her image that you do not have, compliment them. Or vice versa, say that the color of lipstick or hairstyle borrowed from you does not suit her. It is important to emphasize the differences and make it clear that the same things or techniques look different on you.
Help her form her own taste
If the problem is that the friend does not have her image, help her create it. Go shopping together. Advise her what she should change in herself. Tell us how you approach creating your personality and explain that she can do it too if she wants to. If she respects your taste so much, she will probably listen to your opinion.
Be honest about the problem
When gentle methods don't work, it's time for an open conversation. Try to talk without accusations: they can affect her self-esteem and only increase the problem with self-determination.
A friend may deny her imitation out of shame or simply because she really doesn't notice it. Tell her that even if she is copying you unconsciously, now she should pay attention to it and avoid similar behavior.
Do not involve outsiders in the conversation, even to prove that her imitation is noticed by everyone. This is a personal matter between you and her, and she may react aggressively to outside interference.
If the situation with copying your image is serious, do not collect irritation, but take measures to solve the problem. There's nothing wrong with protecting your individuality, even if you're not Beyoncé and it's not about a new hit, but just the same captions for photos on social networks.